Non-attachment does not mean indifference or non-loving. Non-attachment and love are one and the same. Non-attachment gives freedom, but attachment brings bondage- Swami Rama
Do you ever feel that Alzheimer's disease is all consuming and has become a major and over powering focus in your life? My husband often shared that he had difficulty finding peace and happiness when his mom was experiencing dementia. I asked him whether or not he thought he could have practiced detachment from his mother's situation and he said: "No I wouldn't have been able to detach from my mother." Is it possible to detach from the disease, but not the person?
I would like to suggest that it is possible to detach with love from situations that are painful and unhealthy. I don't mean that you avoid the person, or stick your head in the sand. I mean that you balance out your compassion and focus on the other, with an equal or greater focus on nurturing and loving yourself. Practicing detachment allows us to let go of our obsession on another person and begin to live more peacefully.
In relation to Alzheimer's disease, there is a fine balance between being over involved and under involved. As the disease progresses, it is important that people who love and care for the person with the disease, advocate and step in when necessary. Once that job is done, the family/friends benefit from refocusing their energy and attention on their own lives, trusting that all is as it should be. Recognizing that no amount of involvement or caring can change the disease itself.
Practicing detachment also enables the care providers to look after themselves and find some peace and serenity in the situation. This peaceful and accepting feeling will be mirrored in the interactions with the person with dementia. The more peaceful and calm the caregivers are, the more peaceful and calm the person with alzheimer's will be.
Deepak Chopra describes how to put the spiritual law of detachment into effect by following a number of steps. The first step is allowing the person with dementia to be as they are. Not trying to change the behaviors or expect that our views of reality are conformed to. The second step is to "factor in uncertainty"and accepting that solutions to problems will emerge when the time is right. The final step includes believing that opportunities for beautiful moments exist, if you remain open to seeing them.
Are you comfortable with the concept of detachment as it relates to Alzheimer's disease?
Alzheimer's I have a family and I loved reading this information. thank you guys for the blog. I hope you continue writing many more relevant topics.
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