Sarah McLean on Dementia and Meditation

Sarah McLean is the best-selling author of Soul Centered: Transform your Life in 8 Weeks with Meditation.  This is Sarah's story:

The Body Fades Away
 My Father's Passing

I would often leave the nursing home unfulfilled. I had done my duty: I had visited my aging father to make sure he had clean clothes, enough toiletries, and was taken care of. But I hadn't been able to truly connect with him for a few years.

As dementia set in, his senses had faded, one by one. The first stroke made it hard to find the words that he used to  eloquently use to express himself and describe the world around him. Along with his hearing loss, his understanding of the words he did hear was gone. The glaucoma clouded his vision and eventually made it hard for him to identify people and shapes and the space around him. He couldn't remain steady enough to walk . He was a faded version of the vibrant man I grew up with.

Although he knew his name was Winston, he had stopped responding to being called Dad. It seemed that his previous roles had disappeared. He didn't seem to recognize his grandchildren's names, where he lived or where he used to, what day it was or the holiday season, what he had accomplished, or any of his dreams. And yet, he seemed peaceful most of the time.

There seemed to be nothing I could say to relate to him and to jar his memory. One day, I sat with him and meditated. Somewhere during my meditation, I had the thought to open my eyes to be sure he was alright. When I did, I was surprised to see him sitting up, alert, bright eyed, and smiling. He looked blissful and joyous. I closed my eyes and continued to meditate. When I left that day I felt as if I had connected with him, and he with me for the first time in years. As a meditation teacher, I was amazed that it had taken me this long to think to do this. I visited him a few more times in December and early January and meditated, and felt fulfilled again and again.

In the winter of the next year, Deepak Chopra came to Sedona, Arizona where I lived to teach the SynchroDestiny course. I volunteered to teach meditation to the attendees. I felt renewed by being a part of the program and with the people I had known for years.  

At the end of the course, I said goodbye to a dear friend that I had worked with as I dropped him off at the airport shuttle. I went back home to work in my office. Then, suddenly, I felt compelled to move from my desk to the sofa and meditate. It was earlier than I usually meditated, but I did it anyway. A half an hour passed and I remember feeling that my meditation was extremely deep and peaceful. Later that evening the phone call from the care home where my father lived. He had died.  I asked when it was, and it turned out that I had been meditating at the time of his death. We were connected again.  Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul, wrote, "Consciousness exists when our bodies do not."  I know this is true.   

About the author: Along with her 25 year meditation practice, Sarah McLean has explored world spiritual and cultural traditions: she's been a 2-year resident in a Zen Buddhist monastery, lived in an ashram in India, taught English to Tibetan Buddhist nuns, bicycled along the silk route through Pakistan, meditated in temples in Thailand and Japan, and trekked the Golden Triangle in Asia. She worked with Deepak Chopra for 8 years as the Program Director of the Chopra Center for Well Being. Sarah McLean is passionate about teaching and sharing what she’s discovered about the modalities of mind/body health, self-awareness and her spiritual journey.  Endorsed by Deepak Chopra and featured in The New York Times, Sarah is the founding director of the McLean Meditation Institute in Sedona, Arizona which offers meditation classes, retreats and teacher certification courses. www.McLeanMeditation.com.