The Divine Spark

by Dr. Pat Campbell, Senior Minister and Spiritual Director, for the Calgary Centre For Spiritual Living.  Dr. Pat is the author of Giving God a Good Time.  

When Bev Janisch asked me to write an article for her blog on Alzheimer’s from a spiritual perspective, I thought, “What do I know about Alzheimer’s?”  But then I remembered that both my parents, although never diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, dealt with moderate dementia prior to their deaths. 

And like anyone else who has had a loved one lose their mental capacities – I often wondered, “Where did she go?  Where did that bright, funny, interesting woman go?”  And “Where did he go?  What happened to that strong, vital, man of integrity and dignity?”

The answer is, they didn’t go anywhere.  Because from a spiritual perspective, they still had the spark of the Divine within them – even if I couldn’t see it anymore.

As a minister of Centers for Spiritual Living, what I teach and believe is that God (or whatever you choose to call the Universal Life Force) is all there is.  Everything is part of this Life Force.  It cannot die.  It cannot become confused.  It cannot be extinguished. 

Because that is true, then we too are part of this Life Force.  Each of us has that Divine Spark within us.  Each of us is here to shine that spark as brightly as we possibly can.  And no one’s spark is like anyone else’s.  We are unique, special, and absolutely individual.  Each of us is walking our own individual spiritual path, that is just right for us for our own soul’s growth.

When I remember this, I can view what appeared to be the loss of my parents to dementia as part of their spiritual path; their soul’s growth.  I can celebrate when their spark was bright and vivid, and be happy for having that be part of my life. 

And I can also appreciate them when their spark appeared dim, because I know that nothing can really diminish the spark – it’s just that I could no longer see it.  Yet, it was still there, shining brightly of the path of their soul’s growth.

Blessings.

Alzheimer's Four Agreements

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a book named "The Four Agreements." If you haven't read it, it's definitely worth reading.  It was interesting to me, that although it wasn't written about Alzheimer's disease, the book's message is very relevant to both living with this disease and life in general.  The book "reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering".

The first and most important agreement is to be "impeccable with your word." This agreement acknowledges that the word is a very powerful tool which can manifest both good and bad thoughts, feelings and outcomes in your life. I've often been concerned about the words we use surrounding Alzheimer's disease and believe that the words impact how we feel about it. For example, words like, victim, sufferer, robbed, tortured, violent, non compliant are often used when describing those impacted by the disease. Think about how these words make you feel. Words are powerful and we must chose them consciously to result in more peaceful and loving experiences. Alzheimer's Australia, published a paper, Dementia Friendly Language,  which provides suggestions for preferred terms which result in more positive and hopeful feelings.

The second agreement is "don't take anything personally." Wow, that is a really hard thing to do when many of us take so many things personally. What does that mean in the Alzheimer's world? It means that most of what happens when interacting with people with dementia is as a result of the disease and not as a result of us. It doesn't make it any easier, but it is the truth. Miguel Ruiz wrote, "All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world and we try to impose our world on their world." Amazing! He wasn't even talking about Alzheimer's disease!

The third agreement is "don't make assumptions." This is a really important one in the Alzheimer's world as we tend to make a lot of assumptions based on a lack of knowledge about the disease. He describes that "we make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions." I may be going out on a limb by saying this, but there are no excuses to not ask questions and learn as much as you can about Alzheimer's disease. The more you know, the fewer assumptions you'll make and the less you'll suffer from all the strange things that go along with the disease.
   
The fourth and final agreement is "always do your best." This is a hard one to consider in terms of dementia, because somehow it feels like you're best is never good enough. When we do our best, it doesn't change the course of the disease or alter the challenging situations. I have to admit that I have a hard time with this agreement as it implies that we need to judge our best and the very nature of judging can result in beating ourselves up. Having said that , doing your best is about accepting yourself and accepting the situation that you find yourself in. Doing your best is something that happens in the moment and the good thing about that is that the moment is always changing.

Have you found other agreements that have been helpful when dealing with Alzheimer's disease??

Are Anxiety and Depression Related?

One of the most challenging symptoms of Alzheimer's disease to witness and alleviate is anxiety.
Anxiety is so common in Alzheimer's disease and dementia and is often an indicator that the person is "suffering" at some level. Dealing with anxiety is very complex as there are countless things that could be contributing to the anxiety. One thing is for certain, and that is we need to stand up and pay attention when anxiety is present because there is a reason for it.

One of my "pet peeves" in the dementia world is when medications that commonly have significant side effects are used to "dull" or attempt to alleviate the anxiety. While the goal to alleviate the anxiety, is a noble one, the way we go about it is so important in order that we enhance  quality of life and minimize adverse effects.

Whenever anxiety is present, it is vital that all psychosocial, environmental and underlying physical causes of anxiousness are ruled out.  This means that the environment needs to be calm, the person who is anxious is physically comfortable, the expectations being placed on the person are realistic, frustrations are minimized, and that the person has had a chance to burn off excess energy.

It is important to note that a very high percentage of people with dementia and anxiety also meet the criteria for a diagnosis of depression. Why is this important? This is important because we have a lot more success managing the anxiety when it's recognized as part of an underlying issue such as depression. Secondly, when we treat the depression the chances of improving quality of life and alleviating suffering is possible. When we just treat the anxiety with traditional medications, like benzodiazepines, such as Ativan, we often end up with significant side effects and a whole spectrum of other issues. James Clyde Sellman Ph.D,  provides a helpful overview about this in the article, Alzheimer's Disease and Anxiety.

In summary,  if the person is anxious and there is a chance that they are also depressed, I would focus on the depression and manage it with one of the newer antidepressants that have minimal side effects and a good chance of improving quality of life. I would love to hear your stories and experiences with anxiety and depression....