Compassion for Self and Others: A Magical Ingredient in the Alzheimer's World

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace- Dalai Lama

There is no greater need than the need for compassion for ourselves, as well as for others. Compassion is one of those words that is hard to describe as it is truly a feeling that arises from deep within when touched by someone's suffering. Compassion comes from the soul of a person and is the transference and sharing of warm, loving, caring and concern for another human being.

In the world of Alzheimer's disease and dementia, compassion enables a person to view the strange behaviors and situations that commonly arise in a loving and accepting way. Compassion comes from a place of knowing that it is the disease that is behind these strange behaviors and occurrences and not the person. Compassion leads to patience and loving responses that leave the person with dementia feeling comforted and at peace. When we can feel more compassion towards people we ourselves benefit as we feel more peaceful and grateful.

I think one of the greatest barriers to compassion in the dementia world is fear.  The fear associated with the unknown and lack of understanding of the disease. The fear that this disease could potentially happen to me. The fear of not knowing how to handle different situations. The fear of what the future may bring. Fear prevents us from getting up close and personal with the person with the disease. It prevents us from letting the compassion flow.

I have witnessed the most remarkable acts of compassion in dementia care.  When my brother in law came to visit from out of town,  he spend hours compiling Scottish music for his mom to listen to. Jessie was at the stage in the disease when it was difficult to connect with words and when we visited we needed to find creative ways to connect. Her son spent an afternoon with her just being with her as they played the music and  rummaged through old photos. She couldn't remember exactly who the people were, but she loved going through them all the same. What happened on that afternoon was pure love, compassion and acceptance.

I found an informative and insightful website on Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristen Neff.  There is a test that you can take to determine how self-compassionate you are, as well as exercises to increase self-compassion. There are also some guided meditations that you can listen to that will help increase compassion. I would love to hear your stories about compassion in the world of dementia and Alzheimer's disease. The more we share these beautiful moments, the more we'll have!